Cold Turkey Ugly Christmas Sweater | Funny All-Over-Print Sweatshirt
He quit cold turkey. The birdbath froze, the beanie is on, and he regrets nothing.
US$79.99
Size chart and garment measurements
Find your size from your own measurements
| Size | Your chest | Your waist | Your hips |
|---|---|---|---|
| 2XSyour pick | 34.6588.01 | 28.3572.01 | 35.4389.99 |
| XSyour pick | 36.2292.00 | 29.9276.00 | 37.0194.01 |
| Syour pick | 37.8096.01 | 31.5080.01 | 38.5897.99 |
| Myour pick | 39.37100.00 | 33.0784.00 | 40.16102.01 |
| Lyour pick | 42.52108.00 | 36.2292.00 | 43.31110.01 |
| XLyour pick | 45.67116.00 | 39.37100.00 | 46.46118.01 |
| 2XLyour pick | 48.82124.00 | 42.52108.00 | 49.61126.01 |
| 3XLyour pick | 51.97132.00 | 45.67116.00 | 52.76134.01 |
| 4XLyour pick | 55.12140.00 | 48.82124.00 | 55.91142.01 |
| 5XLyour pick | 58.27148.01 | 51.97132.00 | 59.06150.01 |
| 6XLyour pick | 61.42156.01 | 55.12140.00 | 62.20157.99 |
Measure around the fullest part, tape level with the floor. Between two sizes, go up one.
The sweatshirt itself, laid flat
| Size | Chest width (flat, half) | Body length | Sleeve length |
|---|---|---|---|
| 2XSyour pick | 18.5047 | 25.5965 | 21.6555 |
| XSyour pick | 19.2949 | 25.7965.5 | 21.6555 |
| Syour pick | 20.0851 | 26.3867 | 22.2456.5 |
| Myour pick | 20.8753 | 26.9768.5 | 22.8358 |
| Lyour pick | 22.4457 | 27.5670 | 23.4359.5 |
| XLyour pick | 24.0261 | 28.1571.5 | 23.6260 |
| 2XLyour pick | 25.5965 | 28.7473 | 23.8260.5 |
| 3XLyour pick | 27.1769 | 29.3374.5 | 24.0261 |
| 4XLyour pick | 28.7473 | 30.5177.5 | 24.2161.5 |
| 5XLyour pick | 30.3177 | 31.6980.5 | 24.4162 |
| 6XLyour pick | 31.8981 | 32.8783.5 | 24.6162.5 |
Made to order by hand, so allow up to 1 in (2.5 cm) either way. Chest is half the garment measured flat, so double it for the way round.
He quit on January 1st and he has kept his word all the way into December. Now he is cold turkey in every sense of the phrase: one deadpan, half-lidded bird in a red beanie and striped scarf, standing beside a birdbath that froze solid weeks ago, regretting nothing out loud. He shivers on an icy blue field printed edge to edge like a hand knit, with a snowflake and candy-stripe yoke in brick red across the shoulders, a full marching-turkey band above the hem, band-laddered sleeves, and deep brick-red ribbing at the collar, cuffs and hem. This is the sweater for anyone keeping a resolution out of pure spite. Printed to order, soft fleece inside, commitment outside. The birdbath stays frozen.
Size guidance: Unisex classic fit, true to size; between sizes, go up one. Extra room fits extra layers, which the turkey endorses.
๐ Order by Dec 11 for delivery before Christmas, US domestic, standard shipping. Shipping outside the US, or want a knit? See cut-off dates for your country โ
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