Waddle You Want Ugly Christmas Sweatshirt: The Duck Is Not Answering
The duck has been asked a question and is not going to answer it.
Waddle You Want is a festive duck printed edge to edge across the whole sweatshirt, standing in the middle of a fair-isle scene with the expression of someone waiting for you to move on. He is wearing a scarf. He did not ask for the scarf. He is wearing it anyway.
This is the design most people describe as “the passive-aggressive one”, and we have stopped correcting them.
The duck’s position
He is standing still. That is the whole performance. Around him the snowflakes and geometric bands march along in tidy rows, being festive on his behalf, and he contributes nothing. There is a small pile of snow near his feet suggesting he has been there some time.
The joke is the pun and then the pun stops mattering, because what people respond to is the face. He looks like the last person at a party who has decided the party is over and is waiting for everybody else to notice.
All-over print means he covers the whole garment: front, back, sleeves, over every seam. There is no angle from which the duck is not present.
The Ugly Rating: 7 out of 10
Busy, festive and mildly confrontational, which is a 7.
The Chief Festivity Officer scored it a 7 and observed that it is the only design in the range where the character is doing less than he is. He offered this as a compliment to the duck.
What the cast made of it
Sitting Duck, Head of Quality Control
Recused himself, citing a conflict of interest. Nobody has been able to establish whether this is the same duck. He will not confirm and he will not deny.
Cool Cat, Head of Morale
Said the pun is the best part and the face is the worst part, then bought one, which undermines the position considerably.
Owl, Head of Knitwear
Approved the bands, noted the two-colours-per-row discipline held throughout, and declined to discuss the duck.
Deer, Head of Illuminations
Asked whether the scarf could light up. This was the first sensible suggestion the Deer has made and it was still refused.
Every form Waddle You Want comes as
Three, all printed rather than knitted, and all of them orderable much later than the knit line.
The all-over-print sweatshirt, $79.99
The full design printed edge to edge before the garment is sewn, so the duck and the bands run across every seam and a 6XL carries as much of the scene as a Small. 2XS to 6XL, one flat price at every size, printed to order in three to seven business days.
The couples matching set, $144.99
Two of the same sweatshirt, $144.99 together against $159.98 apart. Two ducks, two scarves, neither of them talking. Order two different sizes, the set expects it.
The badge tee, $27.99
The duck pulled into a knitted-look crest and printed on a soft tee, XS to 5XL, in five colours: Pure White, Blue, Green, Mauve and Vintage White. One flat price at every size, and the cheapest way into the design.
Wearing it
Plain everything else. Dark jeans, plain boots, no second pattern anywhere on you. The duck is enough.
The fit is a relaxed unisex sweatshirt and runs true to size. Size up for a slouchier look, which suits a busy print. The sizing and fit guide has the measurements.
All-over print has one advantage a chest graphic does not: it works from behind. At a party where you spend most of the evening facing away from half the room, the design keeps working.
When can you get it?
Printed items run much later than the knits, which helps if December has arrived quickly.
Order by December 11 in the USA for delivery before Christmas, or December 16 with express at checkout. Internationally, November 26 standard and December 14 express.
Printed to order in three to seven business days, so nothing sells out. The knitted designs close much earlier, on November 15. Every date is on the shipping and cut-off page.
FAQ
Where does the name come from?
It is a duck pun on “what do you want”, and the duck’s expression suggests he has heard it before.
What does all-over print mean?
The design is printed onto the fabric before the garment is sewn, so it covers the whole sweatshirt including sleeves and across the seams. A 6XL shows as much design as a Small.
Is there a matching one for my dog?
Not in this design. Our pet sweaters are knitted and this is a print. The pet collection covers the designs that come in a dog size.
Does the price change by size?
Never. $79.99 for the sweatshirt, 2XS to 6XL, and $27.99 for the tee, XS to 5XL.
Is there a cheaper version?
Yes. The badge tee is $27.99 and carries the same character as a knitted-look crest on the chest, in five colours.
How late can I order it?
December 11 standard in the USA, December 16 with express. November 26 standard internationally, December 14 express.
The Festive Folks’ Verdict
Buy Waddle You Want if you want a Christmas sweatshirt that does the talking so you do not have to. It scores a 7, prints edge to edge, orders well into December, and the badge tee starts at $27.99.
Our own Sitting Duck has recused himself from the review. We are not going to push it.
Get it
Every form, made to order and shipped with tracking.
Christmas timing: Printed on demand and shipped fast: order by December 11 (standard US shipping) or December 16 (rush) to be under the tree in time. The full list is on our shipping times page.
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