Tree-Rex Ugly Christmas Sweatshirt: The Arms Do Not Reach
A tyrannosaurus cannot decorate a Christmas tree. The arms do not reach. This is the entire premise and we have built a sweatshirt out of it.
Tree-Rex is a dinosaur in a Santa hat, standing next to a tree he is physically unable to finish, printed edge to edge across the whole garment with fair-isle bands running past him in every direction. He has accepted the situation. He has not stopped trying.
It is the best pun in the range and we will not be taking questions.
The problem with the arms
Look closely and the joke keeps going. The baubles near the bottom of the tree are hung neatly. The baubles higher up are not hung at all. There is a small pile of them by his feet where he has given up and put them down carefully, which is somehow the saddest detail on any garment we make.
Around him, snowflakes and geometric bands march along in orderly rows, entirely unbothered. The pattern is having a nice time. The dinosaur is not. That gap is where the design lives.
Because this is an all-over print, he covers the whole sweatshirt: front, back, sleeves, across every seam. He is not a graphic on a chest. He is the garment.
The Ugly Rating: 7 out of 10
Solidly ugly and proud of it. A dinosaur in a Santa hat on a dense fair-isle ground is not a subtle object and was never meant to be.
The Chief Festivity Officer gave it a 7 and observed that it is the design most likely to make a child laugh and an adult groan, which he considers the correct ratio for Christmas.
What the cast made of it
Cool Cat, Head of Morale
Called it the best pun we own and immediately tried to claim credit for it. He did not have the idea. He was in the room when somebody else had it, which he maintains is the same thing.
Sitting Duck, Head of Quality Control
Studied the pile of baubles by the dinosaur‘s feet. Sat down without a word and was quiet for the rest of the meeting.
Bull, Head of Careful Handling
Expressed unusual sympathy, on the grounds that he also has trouble with delicate objects and has been given a job that involves carrying them.
Owl, Head of Knitwear
Confirmed that the fair-isle bands behind the dinosaur are properly charted, two colours per row, even repeats, and asked that this be recorded. It has been recorded.
Every form Tree-Rex comes as
Three, all printed rather than knitted, and all of them orderable much later than the knit line.
The all-over-print sweatshirt, $79.99
The full design printed edge to edge before the garment is sewn, so the dinosaur runs across every seam and a 6XL carries exactly as much joke as a Small. 2XS to 6XL, one flat price at every size, printed to order in three to seven business days.
The couples matching set, $144.99
Two of the same sweatshirt, $144.99 together against $159.98 apart. Two dinosaurs, two unreachable trees, one shared problem. Order two different sizes, the set expects it.
The badge tee, $27.99
The dinosaur pulled into a knitted-look crest and printed on a soft tee, XS to 5XL, in five colours: Pure White, Blue, Green, Mauve and Vintage White. One flat price at every size, and the cheapest way into the design.
Wearing a dinosaur to a Christmas party
Keep everything else plain. Dark jeans, plain boots, no second pattern anywhere. There is already a dinosaur.
The fit is a relaxed unisex sweatshirt and runs true to size. Size up for a slouchier look, which suits a busy print. The sizing and fit guide covers it.
This is also the design that works best on a group. Four people in Tree-Rex reads as a decision rather than a coincidence, which is why it turns up so often in office orders. The corporate page handles those.
When can you get it?
Printed items run much later than the knits, which is useful if December has arrived faster than expected.
Order by December 11 in the USA for delivery before Christmas, or December 16 with express at checkout. Internationally the dates are November 26 standard and December 14 express.
Everything is printed to order in three to seven business days, so nothing sells out. The knitted designs close much earlier, on November 15. Every date is on the shipping and cut-off page.
FAQ
Why is it called Tree-Rex?
Because a tyrannosaurus rex cannot reach the top of a Christmas tree, and somebody had to make that into a sweatshirt.
What does all-over print mean?
The design is printed onto the fabric before the garment is sewn, so it covers the whole sweatshirt including sleeves and across seams. A 6XL shows as much design as a Small.
Is it suitable for kids?
The sweatshirt is 2XS to 6XL and the tee is XS to 5XL, both adult sizing. For younger sizes the kids range is printed tees, and the character line-up there is a shorter list.
Does the price change by size?
Never. $79.99 for the sweatshirt, 2XS to 6XL, and $27.99 for the tee, XS to 5XL.
Is there a cheaper version?
Yes. The badge tee is $27.99 and carries the same character as a knitted-look crest on the chest, in five colours.
How late can I order it?
December 11 standard in the USA, December 16 with express. November 26 standard internationally, December 14 express.
The Festive Folks’ Verdict
Buy Tree-Rex if you want the pun everyone at the party will say out loud the moment they see it. It scores a 7, it prints edge to edge, it orders well into December, and the badge tee starts at $27.99.
Cool Cat still claims he thought of it. He did not.
Get it
Every form, made to order and shipped with tracking.
Christmas timing: Printed on demand and shipped fast: order by December 11 (standard US shipping) or December 16 (rush) to be under the tree in time. The full list is on our shipping times page.
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