Meet the Character

Slow Burn

A sloth on a bench with a lit menorah, a plate of latkes and a dreidel. Eight nights suits him.

Head of Taking Your Time. A festival that runs eight nights and asks you to light one candle at a time was always going to suit him. He has the menorah in one paw and the whole week ahead of him. There is no rushing this part.

Known for

Eight nights is exactly his pace.

Pairs with

Koalafied

Ugly Rating

7/10

Shop the sweatshirt, US$79.99 Read the story

Every way to wear Slow Burn

All-over-print sweatshirt 2XS to 6XL, printed edge to edge US$79.99 Badge tee XS to 5XL, knitted-look badge US$27.99 Kids tee Youth XS to XL, same badge US$24.99 Toddler tee 2T to 5T, same badge US$21.99 Couples sweatshirt set Two crews, any two sizes US$144.99 Couples tee set Two tees, any two sizes US$49.99

The full story

Slow Burn Hanukkah Ugly Sweater: Eight Nights Is Exactly His Pace

Who Slow Burn is, who wears the sweater, and how to get it before the Christmas cut-off. The Festive Folks wrote it down so nobody has to explain the joke at the party.

Read the story

Meet the rest of the cast

KoalafiedBeing koalafied. Not qualified. Koalafied.Shop Koalafied →Chill CapybaraLeading from a hot spring.Shop Chill Capybara →Cool CatTreating a frozen pond like a private beach.Shop Cool Cat →MeltdownComing inside anyway.Shop Meltdown →Meowy ChristmasOne ornament down, eleven to go.Shop Meowy Christmas →Night OwlWide awake at 2am, with opinions.Shop Night Owl →Oh DeerBeing involved in whatever just went wrong.Shop Oh Deer →Fa La La La LlamaOpting out at the fourth fa-la-la.Shop Fa La La La Llama →Early BirdFirst in line since 5am.Shop Early Bird →Sitting DuckSitting. Judging. Saying nothing.Shop Sitting Duck →Merry WoofmasWearing the tree instead of decorating it.Shop Merry Woofmas →Tree-RexHolding the star. Not reaching the tree.Shop Tree-Rex →Couch PotatoWatching the fireplace like it is television.Shop Couch Potato →Bull In A China ShopBalancing a teacup on one horn to make a point.Shop Bull In A China Shop →Cold TurkeyQuitting on January 1st and meaning it.Shop Cold Turkey →Deer In HeadlightsThat face when someone asks about your holiday plans.Shop Deer In Headlights →Elephant In The RoomBeing enormous in a party hat while nobody mentions it.Shop Elephant In The Room →Fleece NavidadBeing the pun, and enjoying it.Shop Fleece Navidad →Party AnimalStanding perfectly still while the party happens.Shop Party Animal →Shrimp On The BarbieChristmas at 38 degrees, next to a grill.Shop Shrimp On The Barbie →Silly GooseBeing a bit much, in the best way.Shop Silly Goose →Snug As A BugNot coming out until spring.Shop Snug As A Bug →The GiverKnitting every sweater in the room, and taking no credit.Shop The Giver →Tired MomHolding the whole thing together with two paws.Shop Tired Mom →Toadally FestiveLoving the holidays more than is reasonable.Shop Toadally Festive →Waddle You WantDelivering your present on his head, eventually.Shop Waddle You Want →When Pigs FlyClearing for takeoff.Shop When Pigs Fly →Scaredy CatSitting in the candy bowl, unbothered.Shop Scaredy Cat →Boo WhoSaid boo. Nobody flinched.Shop Boo Who →Pumpkin Spice CapybaraFully committed to pumpkin spice season.Shop Pumpkin Spice Capybara →Count CatulaImmortal, and using it to lie down.Shop Count Catula →FrankenswineAlive, technically, and pleased about it.Shop Frankenswine →Hang In ThereHanging in there, upside down, as instructed.Shop Hang In There →Hail SantaHorns up, front row, all December.Shop Hail Santa →KrampusWorking the other list.Shop Krampus →Gingerbread ManBaked, iced, and aware of what happens next.Shop Gingerbread Man →Fringe BenefitsAll fringe, no visibility.Shop Fringe Benefits →Flamingle BellsChristmas at the beach, and correct about it.Shop Flamingle Bells →G.O.A.T. TeacherGreatest of all time, marking until eleven.Shop G.O.A.T. Teacher →Latke NightOne more batch since sundown, every night of the eight.Shop Latke Night →Powder DayWearing a fresh fall of powdered sugar all eight nights, and keeping it.Shop Powder Day →Spin ClassTimed the dreidel at 4.2 seconds. Would like a re-spin.Shop Spin Class →

Join the VIP Club for 10% off Slow Burn and everyone else in the cast. Join, it is free. The duck insists.

Showing all 6 results

• Slow Burn Funny Hanukkah Shirt | Ugly Hanukkah Tee for Women and Men to Pinterest (opens in a new window)
  

  Slow Burn Funny Hanukkah Shirt | Ugly Hanukkah Tee for Women and Men

  Hanukkah US$27.99 Select options This product has multiple variants. The options may be chosen on the product page

  Slow Burn. Badge tee, knitted lettering, $27.99, XS to 5XL.

  • Knitted-look badge printed on a soft unisex tee
  • XS to 5XL at one price in every size. Unisex classic fit, true to size
  • Printed to order and usually with you in 6 to 8 days in the US
• Slow Burn Kids Hanukkah Shirt | Funny Ugly Hanukkah Tee to Pinterest (opens in a new window)
  

  Slow Burn Kids Hanukkah Shirt | Funny Ugly Hanukkah Tee

  Hanukkah US$24.99 Select options This product has multiple variants. The options may be chosen on the product page

  Slow Burn for kids. Badge tee, knitted lettering, $24.99, youth S to XL.

  • A soft youth tee carrying the same badge as the grown-up version
  • Youth S to XL at one price in every size, with the size chart on this page
  • Printed to order and usually with you in 6 to 8 days in the US
• Slow Burn Matching Hanukkah Shirts for Couples | Two Funny Tees to Pinterest (opens in a new window)
  

  Slow Burn Matching Hanukkah Shirts for Couples | Two Funny Tees

  Couples US$49.99 Select options This product has multiple variants. The options may be chosen on the product page

  Two Slow Burn Hanukkah badge tees, white, one for you and one for yours. $49.99 together, $55.98 apart.

  • Two of the same badge tee, one for each of you
  • Each person picks their own size, XS to 5XL, one price for the pair
  • Printed to order and usually with you in 6 to 8 days in the US
• Slow Burn Matching Ugly Hanukkah Sweaters for Couples | Two Sweatshirts to Pinterest (opens in a new window)
  

  Slow Burn Matching Ugly Hanukkah Sweaters for Couples | Two Sweatshirts

  Couples US$144.99 Select options This product has multiple variants. The options may be chosen on the product page

  Two Slow Burn Hanukkah sweatshirts, one for you and one for yours. $144.99 together, $159.98 apart.

  • Two all-over-print sweatshirts in the same design, one for each of you
  • Each person picks their own size, 2XS to 5XL, one price for the pair
  • Printed to order and usually with you in 7 to 9 days in the US
• Slow Burn Toddler Hanukkah Shirt | Ugly Hanukkah Tee, 2T to 5T to Pinterest (opens in a new window)
  

  Slow Burn Toddler Hanukkah Shirt | Ugly Hanukkah Tee, 2T to 5T

  Hanukkah US$21.99 Select options This product has multiple variants. The options may be chosen on the product page

  Slow Burn for toddlers. Badge tee, knitted lettering, US$21.99, sizes 2T to 5T.

  • A soft toddler tee carrying the same badge as the grown-up version
  • 2T to 5T at one price in every size, with the size chart on this page
  • Printed to order and usually with you in 6 to 8 days in the US
• Slow Burn Ugly Hanukkah Sweater | Funny All-Over-Print Sweatshirt to Pinterest (opens in a new window)
  

  Slow Burn Ugly Hanukkah Sweater | Funny All-Over-Print Sweatshirt

  Exclusive Designs US$79.99 Select options This product has multiple variants. The options may be chosen on the product page

  Eight nights suits him.

  • All-over print, edge to edge across the front, back and sleeves, with soft fleece inside
  • 2XS to 6XL at one price in every size. Unisex classic fit; between sizes, go up one
  • Printed to order and usually with you in 7 to 9 days in the US